i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
