well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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