You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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