too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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