That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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