i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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