I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
