im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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