So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
