12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
