Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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