Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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