so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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