How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
