okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander