Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Then again, he has huge mansions.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash