i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.