My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?