YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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