I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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