i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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