I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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