just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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