Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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