he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize