go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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