At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We need to rekindle our bromance
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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