I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad