she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing