This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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