how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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