I could have mohawked her pubes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
