she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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