1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
