ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
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RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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