drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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