Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
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Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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