Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
operation harelip BJ is a go
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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