After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
