Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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