dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize