apparently the secret to your success is patron
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize