make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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