you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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