I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"