Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
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I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
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Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn