Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
