hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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