btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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