Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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