I think my fart just growled at me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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