and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize