I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Gay?
German.
Pity.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
