Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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