Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
