I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
