Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
